Where I Was

Where I Was

Pretty little blue eyes set
Upon the pale, shy girl of three
She held the great divide and
Protected me
From Monsters.
Safe from their reach
She alone heard my cries
And took those tears,
Formed her weapon.
Sliced the ache apart.

Quick, resilient girl of nine
Playing dolls, exposing secrets
Safely, among the absent.
As only a child would.
Patience.
She let healing take its course
With a slow stride
I needed.
Bringing light to the night
Shadows exposed.

Confused, destitute girl of fourteen
She draws towards him
Her strength misplaced
In the arms of another
I love.
Oh how I love, and she loves
We love
And the air we breath
Together
Is tainted.

Uncertain, hopeful woman of eighteen
She finds her security
Marries and births
Conceals me behind
Melancholy smiles.
She and I are alone
And the loss of life
Becomes thicker.
Confusion denser.
Who am I?

Beautiful, artistic woman of thirty
Creeps out from beneath
When I need her strength.
But I thrive
Exist.
I write. Draw. Heal.
I fight. She is my backup.
The warrior I am
Is enough.
Mostly.