Decisions and Excuses

truthIndecisiveness

For the last two or three weeks (or maybe two or three months) I have been teetering on the fine line of whether I will be participating in this year’s National Novel Writing Month challenge. Last year I didn’t know until the very last week of October whether I was going to because I hadn’t even thought of the challenge. Then that last week rolled in and I began to hear the voices…dream the scenes. I didn’t know at first that a story was brewing inside me. I really didn’t. That in itself surprised me because I can normally notice those things the moment they begin happening. However I was deep deep deep into writing a fantasy novel with my co-writer William and he and I were trudging along and were so very close to finishing the book.

My focus was on something bigger. Sometimes the big things, well, often the big things take all our attention, you know? And this is exactly what was happening to me. So when I heard a small voice was telling me things and then I began seeing the story unfold within the shadows of my dreams and later my consciousness I realized I had a story that I needed to write. I told my partner I had to step away from the novel we were currently working on and he was totally cool with that. He even stepped up to the plate and said he too would participate in the challenge.

This year I have another big story in the works but it is at a standstill for more reasons than I can go into at this time. And I am surprised yet again to find there is another story inside me ready and waiting for that 30 day challenge. (Okay, I don’t know why I continue to be surprised really because there are always stories waiting to be written.)

Still, even this very moment I am still debating on whether to participate in NaNoWriMo. Why? WHY? WHY, I keep asking myself. I just don’t know why. Yeah, there is the basic usual excuses:

1. I work seven days a week between my full time job and my full time internship.

2. I have a family who kinda sorta requires my time and attention.

3. I’m always tired.

4. I have a blog that I need to, want to keep up with…it is something I like doing.

5. I have no outside life.

6. My friends haven’t seen me in months…and they are none too happy about hat.

7. I have books that I need to read and review for other authors.

Truly, the list could go on and on. So I really don’t need anymore reasons why I shouldn’t attempt this years challenge. And yet…I can’t help but feel the insistence to do that very thing. My heart, my desire, my passion for the creative art screams inside and I can feel it nearly bursting out of me. And so, with a heavy determinedness and uncertain mind I choose to embrace the crazy November activity. I will proclaim it to the masses (or at least to all who read this) that I will write. I will attempt to write my story.

How about you? Are you also teetering on the edge of indecision? Would love to hear from ya!

Cheers,

Michala

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