I Wanted To Quit

1412305_10204729547576716_4442642053653905319_oA few days ago I felt completely stuck in my NaNoWriMo book. I honestly wanted to give up. I even told my best friend WIll how going any further would be just a waste of my time and I could be editing finished novels or doing something else rather than writing anything more on this big hunk of junk that I called my 2014 Nano novel. Ugh! Will told me to keep at it. To not give up.

I told my husband as well. I gave him a long list of reasons while laying in my bed about why I just couldn’t do it anymore. He lay beside me and stared at my wall of inspiration. He started reading the things I had taped to the wall, to my mirror, and whispering in my ear how I should not give up. I wanted to cry, to scream to the creativity gods, and to drown my sorrows in Strawberry Margaritas. I just knew I was a failure.

And then two days went by with no writing. I was so angry with myself for having written such stupid shit. I was stuck. I knew that was what the problem was. My characters weren’t giving me anything to work with. One character was not as crazy as I believed she to be. Another character just wasn’t doing anything I needed her to be doing. And two other characters had gone off the grid. What was I going to do? How could I work with that? Ughhhh!

But I got into my car, drove to the coffee house, and pulled out my laptop. I just started writing. I had forgotten that this first draft was allowed to be complete shit. Nobody was ever going to see it unless I wanted them to. So I played around, wrote a little bit, and found some new characters.

I’m only 12,000 words away from completing this challenge. Yeah, so I only have 5 days to go. Yeah so what if Thanksgiving is one of those days so technically I only have four days to go. I will not quit. Today one of my favorite authors posted a new blog titled ‘Why It’s Important To Finish Your Shit‘ and it was definitely a day I needed to be reading it. It made a lot of sense. It pushed me even after I had pushed myself. More importantly it reminded me of the truth I already knew about myself. I can’t quit. I won’t quit. I’m no quitter.

I’ll finish this book. Maybe I’ll not do it in time for Nanowrimo festivities. (That would totally suck and I’m gonna try like hell to still win). But the point is….I’ll finish my shit. 🙂

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