Midnight Musings

 

I’d only just found peace. It creaked into my life, like an old man with a cane. Still, at least it arrived. I’d finally shut down the inner eye, calmed the visions, the voices. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Until i couldn’t. He stole the memories within me, and now being used against me. Taunting me, pressuring me back into the madness. What choices does one have when all choices are ripped away? Now I look down the barrel of a gun if I go one way and walk off a cliff if I go the others.

He tells me it’s time I pay my dues. The burden heavy, the debt too big. I think I’ll never be able to, but I must. To save Him. I will. I left the bag on the porch, at the door. Who knows what lies behind it. Within the bag is dirt, mud, dust. The first two buried the last once upon a time. How is it he can play god, raise life from that dust? Does it even matter?

I will go after what costs the most. Him. His life. His freedom. Even at the cost of my own. But I’ll not go into this as a victim. I’ll play his game but I’ll not use the front entrance. I’ll strike hard. I’ll know when the time is right. And then, he’ll see all the shit he’s kicked up. And I’ll smile. I’ve made new wishes. One’s he can’t reach. Secrets he won’t know. Feelings he can’t sense. Visions he won’t understand.

It’ll be good to blow off some steam. Battles lost, wards broken, This one is in my back pocket. He just can’t see that yet. Dead lips don’t sing. Not for him. Thy rejoice, however, in telling me what I need to hear. Their ashes speak clearly to me. Their woes cry out for revenge.