Inside My Journal…5/27/18

Snippets from my secret side… Is it a recent entry or from years ago…does it matter?

I still can’t tell whether I’m okay or not. Am I happy? What is happy? I am lazy, unmotivated, tired, lazy, fat, slobbish, but am I unhappy? I can’t tell because i can’t feel!

I haven’t attempted to do something I’m afraid to do. Does that make me weak? Fearful? Or just not adventurous?

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What I’m Reading Right Now 5/21/18

Black Dagger Brotherhood

Have you heard of them?

J.R. Ward writes divine alpha male stories.

I’m on book three right now. It’s not my first go at this series, however, she has written three books I’ve not read. I figured I would re-read them, catch up on the characters, and then dive into the newest books.

I’ve heard that Lara Adrian’s Midnight Breed series is similar. Has anyone read her series? Do you suggest it or do you have a better suggestion?

I’d love to know your thoughts!

Midnight Musings 5/19/18

Image result for midnight       Midnight Musings

 

I’d only just found peace. It creaked into my life, like an old man with a cane. Still, at least it arrived. I’d finally shut down the inner eye, calmed the visions, the voices. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Until i couldn’t. He stole the memories within me, and now being used against me. Taunting me, pressuring me back into the madness. What choices does one have when all choices are ripped away? Now I look down the barrel of a gun if I go one way and walk off a cliff if I go the others.

He tells me it’s time I pay my dues. The burden heavy, the debt too big. I think I’ll never be able to, but I must. To save Him. I will. I left the bag on the porch, at the door. Who knows what lies behind it. Within the bag is dirt, mud, dust. The first two buried the last once upon a time. How is it he can play god, raise life from that dust? Does it even matter?

Continue reading

Editing and other fun stuff

So this week I did something…

I ordered the proof version and got to hold this thing in my hand. It’s so far from being ready, but man it felt great having it in my hands. I can’t edit my writing while staring at a computer screen. I like to have the book in my hand so I can take it everywhere I go. I’m going to mark this thing up all to hell. By the time I’m done with it, it will look like it’s been through the ringer a dozen times. Then I can sit back down and begin making all the official changes. Continue reading

Ask me…what 3 Songs?

Cover of the Rolling Stone…Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show

This one is an oldie but goodie. I can’t help but visualize my mom tapping her toes, exhaling her cigarette smoke from her Virgina Slim, and singing along with this song. Ah…the good ol’ 80’s (for me anyway). Haha

I got a freaky ole lady name a cocaine Katy
Who embroideries on my jeans
I got my poor ole grey haired daddy
Drivin’ my limousine
Now it’s all designed to blow our minds
But our minds won’t really be blown
Like the blow that’ll gitcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin’ Stone

She Looks so Perfect….Five Seconds of Summer

Even though I’m listening to it now, I also heard it earlier today while driving in the car with my 12 and 15 year old. They both agreed to liking the song as they bobbed their heads to the music. Me…39 years old connecting with my teenagers…it’s a great day when that happens. 🙂

You look so perfect standing there
In my American Apparel underwear
And I know now, that I’m so down
Your lipstick stain is a work of art
I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
And I know now, that I’m so down

Reflections…MisterWives

This is one of my morning ‘wake me up’ songs. I tell Alexa (my echo device) to turn up the volume and blast away my sleepiness with this song. I’ll admit I never could understand how the music video connected with the lyrics though. I got to see Mandy Lee in concert with Panic at the Disco and it was my first experience with her music. I’ll admit most of her other music doesn’t appeal to me, but this song is enough for me.

You didn’t close the door
Left a crack open
I couldn’t ignore the faint possibility
Of having hope in this insanity
That we still could be
But we’re stuck floating in between

Those are my songs from today’s playlist. What’s on yours?

 

 

 

What I’m Reading Right now 4.29.18

Image result for dark loverDark Lover by J.R. Ward

In the shadows of the night in Caldwell, New York, there’s a deadly turf war going on between vampires and their slayers. There exists a secret band of brothers like no other-six vampire warriors, defenders of their race. Yet none of them relishes killing more than Wrath, the leader of The Black Dagger Brotherhood.

The only purebred vampire left on earth, Wrath has a score to settle with the slayers who murdered his parents centuries ago. But, when one of his most trusted fighters is killed-leaving his half-breed daughter unaware of his existence or her fate-Wrath must usher her into the world of the undead-a world of sensuality beyond her wildest dreams

 

I’ve read this book before and liked it immensely. Since I do a lot of driving for my job I decided to add it to my audible account. I am considering re-listening/re-reading the series as Ward has published a number of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series that I’ve not had the opportunity to read yet. We shall see what goes.

What are you reading? Any good suggestions?

Ask me…What 3 songs

Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time… Panic at the Disco

With the exciting news of Brendon Urie’s new album, this song is definitely a go-to song for me right now. (BTW…His video of Say Amen, Saturday Night was a freakin’ awesome video.) I love the way Brendon can slay the art of crossing genres with his music and this song gets the heart pumping with his crazy beat. It makes me want to jump on my bed and dance my heart out!

Champagne, cocaine, gasoline
And most things in between
I roam the city in a shopping cart
A pack of camels and a smoke alarm
This night is heating up
Raise hell and turn it up
Saying “If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe”
Oh yeah, don’t threaten me with a good time
Decode…Paramore
So, as cheesy as this sounds, I absolutely ADORE the soundtrack to Stephenie Meyer’s first vampire book Twilight. It is this soundtrack I turn to for diving into my creative side. From the instrumental beginning to Hayley Williams’s haunting vocals, it’s not hard at all for me to find my muse.
Not gonna ever own what’s mine
When you’re always taking sides
But you won’t take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time
How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how
Feels…Calvin Harris (featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry, & Big Sean)
This is a fun song with a catchy beat. I’m almost scared to research the meaning behind the lyrics though. Haha!
No nothing ever lasts forever, no
One minute you’re here and the next you’re gone
So I respect you, wanna take it slow (hey)
I need a mental receipt to know this moment I owe
Do you mind if I steal a kiss? (Chop, chop)
A little souvenir, can I steal it from you?
To memorize the way you shock me (yeah)
The way you move it here (hey)
Just wanna feel it from you (hey, ooh)
So that’s what’s on my playlist today. 🙂 What’s on yours?

Devil Be Dared

Miranda Manchester, a rebellious but inexperienced 19 year old from a small town has three months to prove to her parents that she’s adult enough and deserving of her college fund.  When she goes head to head with a sexy but arrogant son of a multi-million dollar musician and loses she finds herself owing a debt that may take a lifetime to pay.

Marc Jacobs, a bored and depressed 23 year old lives the kind of lifestyle everyone dreams of but is secretly contemplating suicide. When an interesting poker game turns his world upside down, he embarks on a journey of crazy possibilities,  one which could cost him more than just his life.